I detest being up in front of people...especially when I have to see them again! I sweat, I get this electric feeling in the pit of my stomach, and even worse I FORGET WHAT I WANTED TO SAY!! It doesn't matter how rehearsed it is or how long I have studied, all rational thought goes right out of my head and I feel like the proverbial bug under a lens! Now, I know that God knows this about me, so I found myself wondering today (not for the first time) why I am in charge of music at VBS this week.
Then as I prayed the answer jumped out at me: PRIDE! Oh boy. It is my pride and not wanting to look stupid that makes me feel this way! God wants me to be humble! "But, Lord," I tell Him, "You can't feel any humbler than a bug under a lens! It's like everything is exposed! "
Oh, He wants me to be exposed to Him? Give Him my fears? He'll still love me even when He sees the spotty part of my heart? The part where I'm ashamed? You will help me and be all I need? Hmm...reminds me of a song...
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